We've all heard the saying blonds have more fun, but scientists at Pembrook university in upper Crenshaw have finally proven it as fact. Studying blonds from around the world in a smorgasbord of controlled environments, Yugoslavian doctor of craniology, Radiczeck Mihiliovic, has concluded that because blond is similar to yellow, people associate it with the yellow smiley face, this in turn makes people involuntarily smile at blonds, thus causing them to feel happier.
When asked why he wasted millions of taxpayers dollars on this dubious "experiment" Russian prime minister Vladamir Putin declared "well, someone had to prove Gary Kasparov wrong and it sure as hell wasn't going to be deep blue."
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