Officials in Northern England are in a panic over a recent crimewave believed to be the work of a secret communist party.
The best political minds in the area have put together a think tank after concern was raised over a possible "communist revival". More than 30 cars in the South Yorkshire area have been splashed with a sinister blob of red paint. On top of this, B+Q have reported a 300% increase in sales of hammers and sickles, which is more shocking than at first seems when you consider sickles have been obsolete for 30 years.
Police Sargent, Liam Bennett, who has exhausted all his intelligence contacts in the area has now taken the drastic step of offering 100 pound sterling to anyone who can provide a "name."
Locals are playing down the communist rumors and suggest its merely "kids pissing about"
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