Friday, December 11, 2009

to be killed by a mocking bird


A bizarrely tragic turn of events has left a man dead it was reported yesterday.

In a Darwinian nightmare only nature could create, the man, Roger Cryogen, 48, from Dunstable has taken his own life after months of mental abuse from his pet parrot.

Roger, who died in his living room after taking a lethal dose of poisonous mustard tablets, was found with a suicide note in his pocket. The note referred to the "mental anguish" roger had been put through by his pet parrot Clarence.

Friends have confirmed Roger taught Clarence to swear and insult people because he thought "it was funny." In a sinister turn of events, Clarence would turn on his owner when the two were alone. Marathon sessions of torrential abuse became the norm leaving Cryogen paralyzed with fear

Scientists have long warned of parrots demonic side. Some historians even claim they were the real brains behind the hijacking of naval fleets throughout the ages, that the pirates simply "acted on parrots orders" living in constant fear of their vindictive verbal purges.

The parrot was taken in for questioning but has been released on bail after no concrete evidence was found to convict him.

No comments:

Post a Comment